Generic or Specific?

Generic or Specific?

 Isn’t it wonderful that, even after three years of seminary and many years in the pastorate, God can show you new things? I must admit that it is humbling and overwhelming at the same time. But it happened today and I am thankful. It occurred during my daily devotional time when I sit in my “prayer chair” and study God’s Word and commune with him in and through prayer. Except for the dogs having to have their affection time, I try to reserve this time for God and me. Most days I am able to accomplish this. I don’t say this to pat myself on the back for my piety but to mention that this has become a “habit” for me, and the dogs! What I found out today radically shook my world and my equilibrium.

As an Anglican I gain perspective by saying the Collect for Purity. I start with this.

            Almighty God, to you all hearts are open, all desires known,

            and from you no secrets are hid: Cleanse the thoughts of my heart
            by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, that I may perfectly love you,
            and worthily magnify your holy Name; through Christ my Lord.  Amen.

It centers my thoughts and actions for what I am about to do. It gives me the proper perception about who God is and what I want him to do for and in me. For you purists, I have changed the wording from the corporate emphasis to the individual emphasis that pertains to me in this situation. My hope and prayer is that at the end of my time with God, I have a cleansed heart, inspired by the Holy Spirit allowing me to perfectly love him. Not a bad day if you can accomplish that!

After that I say the Confession. Again I use a personal version instead of the corporate version. I know that I am a sinner and that confessing daily still isn’t enough to keep short accounts with God. When I got to the part where it says, “I have left undone those things which I ought to have done, and I have done those things which I ought not to have done,” this is where the seismic rumble began. There are times when I feel as if God is speaking to me. I don’t hear audible sounds but, as someone once said, “knowing’s” in my heart that God is communicating with me. I sensed he was asking me, “What do you mean?” I responded, “Do you want me to get specific, Lord? Boy, you are asking a lot here.” I realized at this point that I was good at the generic confession. I think we all are. We are able to generalize sin and can admit, with no sense of guilt or shame, that we are all sinners. We can admit without confessing. We can agree but we don’t normally name our sins. The generic is always less convicting, less guilt inducing, less shameful than naming each individual transgression. So, I felt compelled to take pen and paper and write down where I missed the mark (one definition of sin). I started with the “things done.” This was easy because I could agree with God on some of them. I suffer from fear, anxiety and worry. But, don’t we all. Yes, they are sins but they are typical of most human beings. But since I committed these offenses I need to confess them. Just when you think you are doing fine God has to interrupt. “Dig deeper,” he said. “Okay.” I also have envy, greed, denial, and pride. “Yes and,” God continued. “Oh, how deep do you want me to go?” Well, true confession means not leaving any stone unturned. As I went deeper, I found more that left me separated from the holy, righteous God of the universe. I will not regale you with the rest of this (it’s not as salacious as much as it is disappointing) but I found I’m not as righteous and pious as I thought. But it didn’t end there.

Don’t you hate it when God won’t let go? At times like these, he reminds me of our little Chihuahua Teenie. She is pesky and will bark and nip at strangers who enter our house. She will not settle down until she is satisfied that all is well and safe. God reminded me that I had not addressed the other portion of the confession. I was leaving out, “I have left undone those things which I ought to have done.” I guess I was settling for “good enough” instead of “best.” God wants the best for us and from us. It is amazing how fast my pen went as I rummaged through my life the past week or so. The first thing I had not done was live with the fruit of the Spirit. Galatians tells us: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22) That is a rather extensive list to neglect in any life that claims to be a follower of Jesus Christ. Unfortunately, this was just the beginning. I wish it wasn’t but alas I am not as perfect as I thought (hoped) I was. It becomes more apparent with each passing moment of this exercise, that I am a sinner in need of a Savior. The “left undone” list continues but you get the picture. Later, reading the word of God reinforced this notion powerfully. Micah 6:8 states: “He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” God sets the bar high and he does not lower it because we cannot attain his standards.

I must admit that after this careful examination, I realized my need, my failures and my lack of anything remotely resembling holiness. I had a glimpse of me from God’s perspective apart from the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. The only word that can best describe this is hopelessness. Wow! What a revelation. But I also had a sense of thankfulness. Without the person and work of Jesus Christ, I will end up being a sinner in the hands of an angry God. He did everything he could do through Jesus Christ and I am glad I have accepted it. I have faith that all of the promises of Jesus are “yes.” That is the only thing that overcomes this hopelessness. Praise God!

Many Christians know, accept and believe the above. And, they think that is enough. But I am here to tell you more is needed. Not in terms of salvation but in terms of a growing, thriving relationship with Jesus Christ that bears fruit and light and life. Too many people though are stuck in the generic. They realize they are sick but have no intention or inclination to get to the specific. I recently went to my family physician. He accessed my ailment and prescribed a treatment. He did not tell me to take two aspirins and call him in the morning. I am so glad he got specific. The generic answer probably would not have solved my problem and left me in the pain and agony in which I was suffering. God, the great healer, the great physician, works with us in the same fashion. Take a pen and paper and record all the things and areas where you have failed to confess your specifics, things done and things left undone. And allow God to deal with you in his mercy and grace for each thing listed. See what a difference this exercise will make in your life. We have a specific God not a generic god and he is the Lord of Life!