“This that
the white man calls charity is a fine thing for widows and orphans but no
warrior can
accept it for if he does, he is no longer a man. He is nothing and better off dead. You say to the Comanche you are widows and orphans, you are not men.
And, we the Comanche say we would rather be dead. It will not be a remembered
fight when you kill us because we are few now and have few weapons. But we will
fight and we will die Comanche.”
Those that we call the “greatest” generation, those who
endured and won World War II, used to understand this principle. Many would
rather have swept streets, as many did during the Great Depression, than
receive charity. Our forefathers and the Comanche lived by Paul’s words from 2
Thessalonians 3:10: “If a man will not
work, he shall not eat.” The responsibility for provision for the family
was up to the man. Widows and orphans do not have anyone to take care of them
and thus can and should accept charity when offered and needed. I am not trying
to pick on slackers or those who receive charity. Although I will point out that
the government subsidies cannot be considered charity!
One of the profound insights I have gained from being in the
ministry runs counter to the aforementioned principle. I am not remarking on
the dependency class but on those who occasionally get in a tight spot and need
help or are just blessed by others generosity. I think God loves a cheerful receiver too! Here is why. It is hard, when
you need or receive charity of any type or form, to accept that which your own
efforts and energy have not produced. We hate to admit we needed help. The
recent comment by President Obama that “you didn’t build that” irks self-made,
self-sufficient people. In giving we tend to take for granted the blessings God
has given us. Our superiority in being able to give makes us more content, more
able to share. To receive from others tends to make us feel inferior. Yet, in
receiving, we should become more aware of the mercies of God, of how he
provides and takes care of all our necessities.
Being a cheerful receiver almost feels like we are taking
advantage of those who seek to bless us. I used to feel that way. While I am
not a Comanche I am a man. The responsibility to take care of my family is my
responsibility. I know it’s a guy thing. Men are from Mars and this is a
Martian principle. Our pride is hurt when we are not able to do that. It is
humbling and drives us to our knees. Yup, there you have it. Being humble is
difficult for many people, especially men. There is nothing new in that
statement. But Jesus does not call us to be proud. There are times in life when
we need to be grateful. Again this is a God thing. We may not like where the
charity comes from (someone else), or feel guilty about accepting it (pride),
but we are provided for. There are times when we simply need to admit we
require help. In many situations, this may lead to soften even the hardest
heart. When we receive it gratefully, we model the behavior of Jesus. He
allowed a woman of questionable reputation to anoint his feet with oil and wipe
them clean with her tears. It was an extravagant gesture and Jesus accepted her
gift with gratitude and thankfulness. Others were not as cheerful at her act
and they were duly rebuked. (Mark 14:1-9)
When I was in youth ministry a thousand years ago I was
given a Christmas gift of cash – please don’t tell the IRS – from a parishioner
at the church. She was a grandmother and none of her family attended our church
or was part of the ministry. I was a little overwhelmed by the size and
generosity of the gift. I complained to the rector that that money could be
used for better, more kingdom oriented purposes than giving it to the youth
minister. A noble and pious statement if ever there were one! I must admit that
I do not remember much of what that man ever said to me and what I do remember
never seemed to be encouraging. It suffices to say that he and I very rarely saw
eye to eye. But he told me that if I refused this gift I would be denying her
the blessing of giving it. She was following Paul’s advice to be a cheerful
giver. (2 Corinthians 9:7) It was tremendous blessing to her to be able to do
this. She had been blessed and wanted to pass that blessing along to others. I
was cut to the quick. Who was I to deny her such a blessing? I learned a valuable
lesson that day that I have tried to practice ever since.
I know God has richly blessed me and I want to pass that
blessing on. But I also want to be able to bless others when they cheerfully
want to give to me. In the end, it is not about me but about what God has
enabled them to do. Through it, we all give glory to God for his being ready,
willing and able to provide for all our needs because he is a God who will meet
all our needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians
4:19) As the Comanche say, “charity is a fine thing for widows and orphans but
no warrior can accept it for if he does, he is no longer a man.” I still tend
to believe that. Yet, I have been convinced that, at times, being a man means
accepting the fact that you need help and in receiving you are allowing others
to be blessed by blessing you. While I don’t want to be dependent on the
government or other people, I want to thank God for those people who have
blessed me in their giving. You were cheerful in giving and I am cheerful in
receiving. I thank God for you because of your generous actions I have become
more aware of God mercies. It’s a hard lesson but without it how can we ever be
cheerful for what Jesus has given us?
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